We’re already a few months into the new year, and I have yet to wrap my head around it. It’s about the time most of us are either going strong on our resolutions or have dwindled off that initial plan.
For me, I’ve kept up with a few but let other ones go. I shared at the beginning of the year how to start the new year with a healthy prayer life, and I’ve committed to one prayer out of the many I had planned. I’m proud I’ve kept up with at least one, listening to my morning prayer with Hallow. However, I know I’m being called to go deeper in my prayer.
Big Changes, Too Fast
The new year brought a lot of big changes for me, the biggest being a new full-time job! If you’ve read my previous blogs, you’ve probably read my journey through graduate school, freelance copywriting, and a 5-year part-time job on the weekends. This new job has changed almost every aspect of my life: how I plan and organize, my social and creative life, and my prayer life.
I feel incredibly blessed for this new job, as it was offered without me having any intention to even apply to a full-time position. But an overwhelming amount of peace and a good feeling in my gut resulted in me taking the position. I feel like this is where I am meant to be, especially since all the pros heavily outweighed the cons.
However, now being a few months into the job, I’m stuck on the cons. Going from the freedom of creating my own work schedule to the typical Monday through Friday 9-5 was my biggest con. I never thought I would be one to have a full-time job, and here I am, adulting level 80 (I’ll be at 100 when I live on my own, but one adult thing at a time). I was especially not prepared for how fast this process was, being offered the job on a Monday and being hired that Friday.
Because of how quickly this all has happened, I was not mentally prepared for such a drastic change in my life. Thankfully, my department is still working from home because of COVID, so I’ve had this time to adjust from the comfort of my home. However, soon I will be expected to work in the office at least once a week, and my office is a lovely 45-minute drive without traffic. This will bring many more changes, but we will cross that bridge when we get there.
I am still adjusting to everything that comes with having a full-time job, and some days I feel like I’m thriving, but most days I’m tired and drained, and that has lingered into other aspects of my life.
Stuck in a Rut
Even when I’m tired and drained I’ll do everything that needs to get done; that’s who I am. I have a hard time letting things go just to give myself a break, like working overtime and having it cut into my sleeping time. The danger of just getting things done is that things become meaningless. If I’m writing this blog just to “get it done” it’ll lose all meaning.
Sadly, I feel like I’ve been doing everything to just “get it done” lately. While I love everything I do, it can all feel annoying when just getting it done is my mindset. Gathering social media analytics is fun for me. I enjoy finding out which posts work, and finding creative ways to improve our posting. But when I’m tired and drained, it feels like a chore.
I’m stuck in a rut of trying to just “get it done,” making my work and efforts seem meaningless. This feeling has now found its way into my prayer life and relationship with the Lord. My beautiful morning prayers seem long and tedious, but I know I need to pray so I just get it done.
The Lord deserves more from me, and He has so much more He wants to give to me. But I am stuck and closing off my relationship with the Lord. Realizing this sad truth is the first step in trying to overcome it. The second step is having the desire to change and be better. The third step is to find out ways to refresh our relationship with the Lord!
Time to Refresh!
If you’re looking for a refresh too, just know that we’re in this together, and I’m here to support you. Whenever I’m looking to improve I look to other blogs, podcasts, and trusted resources for advice and motivation. I suggest turning to your favorite sources, as well, to help motivate you. Here are some of the ways I’m planning on refreshing and shaking off my rut:
Refresh Our Focus: Practice Being Present
In order to do anything meaningfully, we must be present. One of my favorite tools to use to help me practice being present is the Monk Manual. I’ve previously shared the benefits of this tool, and I should listen to my past self and utilize this planner again. Since my accident, I haven’t been able to write and thus couldn’t use the manual, but now that my ability to write has come back, I should plan out my time to help me be more present and focused in all I do, especially in my prayer life.
Refresh Our Anxiety: Trust in the Lord
Lately, I’ve been letting my anxiety get the best of me and worrying when I don’t need to. Remembering to trust in the Lord in our daily tasks allows us to let go of the anxiety associated with it. I’m going to try and say, “Jesus I trust in You” instead of saying, “I don’t know how this will all get done.” This will not just lower my anxiety, but strengthen my relationship with the Lord.
Refresh Our Mood: Take a Break
I notice a big difference in my mood when I plan for a relaxing break and actually commit to it! Instead of working overtime, plan to do the work later in the week and take a much-needed break doing something you love. We can also take breaks at our parish chapel or at adoration by going with the sole intention of relaxing in Christ’s arms. I’ve always gone to adoration with the intention of simply sitting there and letting the Lord’s peace wash over me.
Refresh Our Mindset: Choose Gratitude
Before my motto was “Pray, Hope and Don’t Worry,” it was “live every day with a spirit of gratitude” because I noticed how much better I felt when I am grateful instead of complaining. By fixing our mindset to choose gratitude over complaining, gossiping, or anger, we become more like the Lord. We grow closer to Him by following His example of grace, mercy, and gratitude.
Refresh Our Prayer: Make a Routine
In my blog about forming a healthy prayer life, the number one way to keep a good prayer life is to be consistent. Making a prayer routine and carving out time to pray is how we can grow deeper in our relationship with the Lord. I’ve been using the Hallow app, which has a great feature of being able to create your own routine, and it will notify you when it’s time to pray… now I have to click on the notifications instead of clearing them.
Do not fear: I am with you”Isaiah 14:10
Regardless of if we are thriving or at a low point in our lives, the Lord is with us always. He is there to carry us when we fall and hold our hands through life, we just have to trust Him.