When the quarantine started, I was very sad and upset. It was supposed to be my spring break, and I had plans to fly with my boyfriend for the first time to Austin, TX, to see my Aunt Lisa and Uncle Mike. I spent my strenuous semester dragging myself along, looking forward to the reward of traveling and getting away for a week. I felt defeated when I couldn’t enjoy the fruits of my labor.
I spent that spring break curled on the couch watching Netflix. Since my siblings were still in school, and my parents are teachers, I saw the panicked transition to online classes firsthand. My university had some time before we made the transition to online the following week.
Spring quickly turned into summer, and my birthday was approaching on May 9th. I saw the drive-by birthdays all over social media, and had been a part of some myself, but didn’t want to pressure my mom to organize another drive-by (my siblings got a drive-by that week as they were graduating from high school). I wasn’t excited about my birthday this year, but it was unique that I could video call my family from all around the country.
My summer classes then started up, and I was busy all day and all night working on assignments. I never detached myself from work since it was all from home. The weeks merged, and July rolled around, the month I had planned to take my family on a cruise. It was depressing to watch another travel opportunity pass by and still be stuck at home.
I’m a creative person, and my niche is doing special effects makeup looks. I was dressing up as different characters and doing makeup once at least every two weeks. When quarantine started, I was excited at first thinking now I have time to do more of what I loved. After a month of being at home, I lost all motivation to do anything creative.
Since my jobs already require me to think creatively, designing LWGL’s social media and studying advertising (where I constantly coming up with creative ideas), all my creative energy was going into my work. I was unmotivated to put extra effort into what I do for fun.
How I’ve Felt During this Quarantine
Because of these setbacks and many other reasons, I became very negative. Not being able to go to adoration weekly, I lost my comfort. I started to complain a lot and feel very lazy. I was annoyed at my job, but blessed to still have my assignments and people who were telling me to “take advantage of this quarantine.”
Throughout this time, and still to this day, my family has had COVID scares. We’ve met up with people who were exposed, with some families wanting to pretend nothing is wrong and some being overly cautious. We have been living in fear and uncertainty. When is it okay to go buy our own groceries? See family? Have people come over?
Every cough could mean COVID, and every thought of the virus made me feel ghost symptoms. The “new normal” has become so normal that the thought of going back to “normal” is weird (did that make sense? Lol). It’s been a wave of emotions, and I bet I’m not alone.
When Did I Realize I Was Being Negative?
I started going to bed really depressed or crying. I felt so horrible and didn’t know why. It wasn’t until I looked at my Blessed is She planner that I realized when it began. Each day in the planner is a section where I get to write what I’m grateful for. I flipped back a couple of weeks and saw I stopped writing.
My motto in life is to be grateful each day. When did I stop taking my own advice? I was complaining about everything, not wanting to do any work, and just being snappy at everyone. I kept comparing myself to others, wondering how they’re thriving during this time.
How I Overcame the Negativity
1. I acknowledged the problem
I knew I was feeling bad for a while, but it takes me time to come in tune with my emotions and feelings. Talking out loud to someone I trust or just to myself and describing how I feel helps me. I trail off on rants, and the problem usually presents itself.
In this case, I realized I was being negative and putting myself down. I was just going through the motions of life and not being present. I hated how every day was the same, and I was unmotivated to do anything else.
2. Shared how I wanted to feel
Just how I talked out loud about my problems, I shared aloud how I wanted to feel. Instead of feeling sad, I wanted to be happy, of course. Saying it out loud made it a declaration and goal.
During this quarantine, I wanted to break the humdrum routine. I wanted to regain the motivation to be creative. I wanted to realize that what I do is enough since I always feel like I’m not doing enough, even though I have three jobs and full-time grad school. I always remind myself I’m doing a lot, and it is enough.
3. Figured out how to fix it
If I know what my problem is and how I want to feel, I then figure out how to fix it. What makes me feel better? What makes me feel happier? I list out loud all the things that make me feel how I want to.
I wanted to break from the routine and feel more motivated and creative. So, I knew doing makeup for fun, taking photos, and watching makeup videos on YouTube would do the trick. I also feel like I am doing enough when I make to-do lists and check off what I’m doing.
4. Made a plan of action
Now you have to do it! Put what makes you feel better into practice, but don’t overwhelm yourself. Do a little something every day that works towards making you feel better.
My plan was to do something different each day–something small. Whether it was to wear a dress one day, put on purple eyeshadow, or work outside, I did something to break up my routine. However, when I watch other people’s videos of doing makeup or something I want to be doing, I become overwhelmed, thinking I need to be doing that thing right now, too. Just remember to take it little by little.
Give it up to God
I wanted to share my methods for overcoming negativity and sadness, and maybe it’ll help you out. We all have different ways of expressing our feelings, and no one way is the right way. I hope you can find bits and pieces to adapt to yourself.
In the end, offer up negative feelings and anything you don’t want up to God. He proves to me time and time again that He’s there to take away any negative emotions and replace them with His love and peace.
I’m praying for you, reader. Every day. The LWGL team is here for YOU. Reach out to us anytime here or via social media (@littlewgreatlove). I’m grateful for you today, my friend.