Revival Series: Learning to Trust More & Worry Less (Pt 2)

Editor’s Note: The following is part 2 of 2 of a live Crowdcast talk on Learning to Trust More and Worry Less by Alyssa Sanchez and Michelle Hillaert. You can read and watch part 1 by Alyssa here. These talks are part of a 4-week Revival Series on desert fruits presented by our discipleship team.

Trust and letting go of anxiety are all so connected. From the time I was little I was always very intense. I was always “go, go go” and didn’t know how to just quiet down and be still. I always struggled with trust. 

Even though I worried a lot, God always came through. When things would happen, my knee jerk reaction was to freak out first and be overwhelmed, then eventually work to trust. Even though I would say, “Jesus I trust in you,” I didn’t really trust.

One day while driving down the road, I heard God whisper into my heart, “Buckle up and get ready for a ride.”

Starting the next day we had one thing after another happen in our lives. Between starting new jobs, ending relationships, building new ones and eventually buying our first home.

The next year, our family consecrated ourselves to Our Lady. We signed the consecration on Good Friday. A couple of months later, we were driving up our driveway when we received a call that the well test we had run on a property we were in the process of buying had caused the well to run muddy.

At one point a lawsuit was mentioned and I started to fall into that old “freak out” but Trent reminded me that God had it, so we took a deep breath, leaned in together and said a prayer.

The day we were closing on our house, my husband called me and had a long pause before he began to speak. Somehow our down payment had been sent somewhere else. We had been scammed. For the first time in my life, I didn’t freak out with this very bad situation. I took a deep breath and chose trust. I knew that God had it and that it would be okay.

It took getting up at 5 AM every morning. Saying “Come Holy Spirit” over and over, reading my Bible, reading the works of the saints, consecrating our family to Our Lady to reach that point of healing. We knew that God had our back no matter what happened.

Trent and I have made prayer a very strong part of our lives and we have taken the steps to find healing physically as well as spiritually and emotionally. We’ve reached a point where we can often stop and think – this is physical, this is hormonal, or this is a chemical reaction – or that this is something that even though it’s tough, God has it.

Our end is Heaven. That’s what matters most. Every situation we face here is just another version of a challenge to grow. We’ll go through cycles of being closer to God and cycles of feeling like we’re back in the “dark night of the soul.” Each time we pull out of that dark night, he draws us closer and up into that next level of growth.

We receive his gifts by learning how to be meek and by choosing to trust…to surrender. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect. He knows we’re going to struggle. The closer we get to God, the more we become like children and we know that no matter what, He’s got it. If we fall and scrape our knee, He’ll be there to help clean it up. We’ll fall, we’ll fail and we’ll sin. We need to quit expecting out of ourselves what God himself doesn’t expect-perfection. We need to become like children, choose surrender and keep getting back up.

Also, read Michelle’s blog on “Buckle up and Get Ready for a Ride

About Author

Michelle Hillaert brings more than 25 years of experience in roles relating to technology and communications to GIVEN. With an undergraduate degree in Communication Arts from Franciscan University of Steubenville, her portfolio includes emergency management, web, application and graphic design, marketing and social media management, podcasting, and online consulting. In her previous employment, Michelle played a major role in the development and improvement of internal systems as well as the development and expansion of the Quality Management System. She also managed processes and communication with stakeholders in major application builds of state-run programs. In addition to this work, Michelle has dedicated herself to helping women live their full potential as a doula, life and fitness coach, motivational speaker and author. Having four daughters, nine sisters, and having journeyed with many women over the years, Michelle has experienced first-hand how as women, we often hesitate to respond with our gifts because we don’t recognize that we are uniquely gifted and that the world – especially those we encounter on a daily basis – needs us to share these gifts. In light of this, she has a passion and proven capacity for flourishing young women in the Church through mentoring and leadership development. Michelle has found that transformation often happens in those quiet moments of prayer and reading the works of the saints, such as the “Dialogue” by St. Catherine of Siena and makes daily reading and continual growth an essential part of her day. Outside of work, Michelle has been married for over 23 years to her husband, Trent. They reside in Front Royal, Virginia and together have six children, 2 in college and four still at home, along with three dogs, a cat and 27 chickens. She is a soccer mom and singer who loves leading praise and worship. “It’s only when we truly know how unspeakably much we are loved by our Father and how He is constantly pursuing us – even in those moments when we’re running in the opposite direction – that we can come to understand that our identity lies in His love. With this knowledge, we are able to step out in confidence and as inspired by St. Pope John Paul II, live fearlessly.”

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