Editor’s Note: The following is part 2 of 2 of a live Crowdcast talk on Learning to Trust More and Worry Less by Alyssa Sanchez and Michelle Hillaert. You can read and watch part 1 by Alyssa here. These talks are part of a 4-week Revival Series on desert fruits presented by our discipleship team.
Trust and letting go of anxiety are all so connected. From the time I was little I was always very intense. I was always “go, go go” and didn’t know how to just quiet down and be still. I always struggled with trust.
Even though I worried a lot, God always came through. When things would happen, my knee jerk reaction was to freak out first and be overwhelmed, then eventually work to trust. Even though I would say, “Jesus I trust in you,” I didn’t really trust.
One day while driving down the road, I heard God whisper into my heart, “Buckle up and get ready for a ride.”
Starting the next day we had one thing after another happen in our lives. Between starting new jobs, ending relationships, building new ones and eventually buying our first home.
The next year, our family consecrated ourselves to Our Lady. We signed the consecration on Good Friday. A couple of months later, we were driving up our driveway when we received a call that the well test we had run on a property we were in the process of buying had caused the well to run muddy.
At one point a lawsuit was mentioned and I started to fall into that old “freak out” but Trent reminded me that God had it, so we took a deep breath, leaned in together and said a prayer.
The day we were closing on our house, my husband called me and had a long pause before he began to speak. Somehow our down payment had been sent somewhere else. We had been scammed. For the first time in my life, I didn’t freak out with this very bad situation. I took a deep breath and chose trust. I knew that God had it and that it would be okay.
It took getting up at 5 AM every morning. Saying “Come Holy Spirit” over and over, reading my Bible, reading the works of the saints, consecrating our family to Our Lady to reach that point of healing. We knew that God had our back no matter what happened.
Trent and I have made prayer a very strong part of our lives and we have taken the steps to find healing physically as well as spiritually and emotionally. We’ve reached a point where we can often stop and think – this is physical, this is hormonal, or this is a chemical reaction – or that this is something that even though it’s tough, God has it.
Our end is Heaven. That’s what matters most. Every situation we face here is just another version of a challenge to grow. We’ll go through cycles of being closer to God and cycles of feeling like we’re back in the “dark night of the soul.” Each time we pull out of that dark night, he draws us closer and up into that next level of growth.
We receive his gifts by learning how to be meek and by choosing to trust…to surrender. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect. He knows we’re going to struggle. The closer we get to God, the more we become like children and we know that no matter what, He’s got it. If we fall and scrape our knee, He’ll be there to help clean it up. We’ll fall, we’ll fail and we’ll sin. We need to quit expecting out of ourselves what God himself doesn’t expect-perfection. We need to become like children, choose surrender and keep getting back up.
Also, read Michelle’s blog on “Buckle up and Get Ready for a Ride“