7 Things Nobody Told You About Your 20s

People are always changing. Some people change drastically, some barely change, and some resist change. I can tell those of you who resist change that I am definitely not the same person I was in high school, and I bet you aren’t either. 

When deciding where to go to college, I looked everywhere, from in-state to out-of-state, and had no idea where I wanted to be. I thought I would study theater at a big university, but I ended up at a small private university studying English and Religious Studies. 

After college, I had a teaching job lined up with no intention of going back to school, but here I am on my second to last semester of my Masters in Global Communications. Reflecting on my life and decisions I’ve made, the leaps I’ve taken, or haven’t taken, it is incredible–and frankly seems crazy–that I ended up here. Here are a few things that I’ve learned about when being in my 20s.

1. You Don’t Need to Have Everything Figured out

I’ve realized I am where I’m supposed to be. We don’t need to map out what the rest of our life will look like but should take everything one step at a time. Nobody has everything figured out, so we are not falling behind the pack.

alyssa sanchez

Being in your 20s is exciting and scary at the same time. It’s the transition from teen to adult, where along the way you’re supposed to figure out your career path, who you are, and move into the world on your own. But I don’t think this is the case anymore for people my age. 

We we are constantly looking at each other to see if we are doing what we are “supposed” to be doing at this age. I can think of only a handful of people I know who have moved out on their own, have a strong career path, and seemingly know who they are. Still, I tend to look at those people and wonder, where am I going wrong?

Despite temptations to compare myself to my peers, I know I am not any less than for not having my own apartment. I’ve realized I am where I’m supposed to be. We don’t need to map out what the rest of our life will look like but should take everything one step at a time. Nobody has everything figured out, so we are not falling behind the pack.

2. All Your Relationships Grow

Whether it’s between friends or family, all your relationships change. Some for the worse, and some for the better, depending on the type of relationship you have. 

The friends I still keep in contact with have also changed, and our relationships have and are changing and evolving. Dynamics between us change if we spend months apart and out of touch. A good friendship will evolve together and accept that each is changing and growing.

The best relationships I have are with my sister, boyfriend, and a best friend. My sister and I were not close until we both got older and more comfortable sharing more. With family, my interactions are much more open and honest. 

I have been advocating for open and honest communication in all my relationships, seeing it as the best way to have a great relationship. I am so happy and feel I’ve been able to relate and talk to my family members and friends on a deeper level. 

3. Preferences Evolve

I notice this most in food. I’m no longer a picky eater, and just about anything sounds good to me, and if not, I’ll at least try it. While I do love going out to dance and have fun, I tend to prefer to stay home or go somewhere less hectic. 

When it comes to venturing out, I prefer to try new places, travel more, and be adventurous. I love all my favorite places to eat and visit, but I am now more keen on going somewhere I haven’t been to before.

As I reflect on these changes more and more, I realize many of my preferences have shifted. Where I hang out and who I hang out with have evolved, and my taste in movies, shows, and music. 

4. Adopting New Hobbies

Since when have I loved walking down the home goods section in Target, desperately wanting to buy everything?! My Pinterest is now full of home decor, DIYs, and organizational hacks. As of late, I LOVE to organize and keep everything tidy and minimal. My room used to be full of clutter with clothes spread about, but now I love making sure everything has a place.

Going to Mass and adoration has become a new hobby I adopted on my own, for myself. It used to be something I did for my family, but now my faith has become more personal and it feels like I have discovered it anew in a whole new light. 

Never have I ever cooked an entire meal for anyone, and still haven’t, but I have a newfound desire to learn more about cooking. I look through recipes on social media more and save the ones I think I could possibly make, or want my boyfriend to make me. I continue to surprise myself in what new hobbies I have come to love.

5. Find Your Own Style

My aesthetic has become minimalistic, chic, and pastel pink. I feel like I’ve always liked pink, but to come across as a strong woman, I was never able to admit I liked it the “girly” color. But now, I don’t care if I am perceived as “girly” because I am girly, but also strong and hardworking. My style has therefore changed finally into what I like, what I want to look like, and I feel like it fits who I am.

I found my style of decor, clothing, and just an overall aesthetic that makes me happy. In the advertising field, where I find myself professionally, creativity is valued above all else. When getting hired, most visit your social media platform before looking at your work because they like to see if the person they are hiring is creative inside and out, not only in their work but also in their style. 

It has been amazing to see how my peers all have their own style and aesthetic that I can observe in all aspects of their life. I see how pleased they are having found their own style and know how happy I feel in fully expressing myself.

6. Priorities and Aspirations Change

Getting all my work done takes priority over the last season of a show I want to watch. I am a hardworking person and know that getting work done takes precedence over everything else. I find myself being a workaholic, knowing I need to take breaks (I even wrote a guide on how to do that here). Because my goal is to work as a creative freelancer or content creator, I prioritize work and take on many tasks I believe will prepare me and give me more work experience.

As I mentioned above, you don’t need to have everything figured out. While I still have a lot to figure out, I know what I aspire to be; I just don’t necessarily know how to get there yet. My aspirations are constantly changing, though. One month I wanted to write movie scripts, the next to be an influencer, and now a content creator. Can I somehow do it all? Probably not, but I have new goals and aspirations almost every month. 

Given what you value, you will start prioritizing things more. If you value family and friends, you will likely prioritize spending time together over other things. Goals and aspirations are always changing, and the world right now seems open for the taking.

7. You Won’t Feel Your Age

Even though to many, I am “only” twenty-three and still quite young, I am already starting to not feel my age. When I was a teen looking at the “adults” in their 20s, I was thinking, “wow, they are adults and have it all figured out and have jobs and money and a car.” While I do have all these things, I still feel like a kid who stumbled into “adulthood.”

Not to bring myself down, but I sometimes wonder why my boss gives me such big tasks while I’m only just a kid. Then I remember–I am a capable twenty-three-year-old who can accomplish all these tasks well. 

Speaking to my family members and friends from LWGL, they tell me, “No, I don’t feel forty-five, I feel thirty.” I never knew adults felt like this! From now on, I know I am not going to ever feel my age since I already don’t now. 

Pray, hope, and don’t worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear your prayer.” 

Padre Pio

I try to listen to Padre Pio, and words from my wise Abuelo (Grandpa)–not worry about getting older, where am I going to end up, or how am I supposed to be. To offer it all up to God in prayer and hope it is revealed to me when I need it.

So, reader, if you feel the same way as me, tell me! We can go through this together! If you’re looking at this and are ready to offer some advice, lay it on me. I am open to hearing your thoughts! Reach out to me or the team through the comments below or on any of our social media platforms. I love you!

your 20s
About Author

Alyssa is a 23-year-old master’s student studying communications. She lives at home in sunny Florida, enjoys watching movies and binging tv shows, hoping to one day produce films of her own in which to act. Creatively she enjoys writing in any medium, fashion, doing makeup and dressing up in costumes. She loves to travel by plane, train, car and especially cruises, and hopes to see the world. Caring, kind and loving, she tends to see the good in all people. Alyssa’s calling is to make people smile through her creativity, sharing God’s message of love through how she lives. Her motto is to live every day with a spirit of gratitude.

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